I don't know what to say.
- kd
- Jun 21, 2018
- 2 min read
There are words we all need to say more often.
Go ahead. Say the words you think I'm going to say.

You're wrong. I'm not going to say, "I love you." Personally, I think some people say this way too often. It loses its legitimacy when over-used and under-meant.
I'm not going to suggest you say, "You look great today!" either. Seriously, if you can't be specific and pick out the one or two things on a person that rock the look - just use a growl or a "Mmmmm-mmmmm!" to show you approve.
No, the words we need to say more often, I learned from a mighty 9 year old.
The words need a little back story. Here goes.
It was the last week of school. My 27 students had scored a reward movie. Kids were sitting all around the classroom, enjoying "Brother Bear" and noshing on popcorn. That's when DU slid over a few computer seats to sit by me.
I was tickled. I enjoyed DU's company. He was a fun kid to talk with. So we sat there a few minutes and broke my no-talking-during-a-movie rule. He started by mentioning something about the movie. I responded. We laughed. After a few more conversational bits back and forth, I told him, "DU, you're going to love fourth grade!"
He looked at me and said, "I'm not ready." DU was always candid, but I was surprised by this, and I told him so. He then said something about not feeling fourth-grade-smart.
I looked at him and shook my head. Then I said, as calmly and earnestly as I could - 'cuz I meant this - that he was MORE than ready for fourth grade. I told him that he'd grown so much as a thinker this year. (Math, reading, science - he had soared in every subject.) I also told him that I looked at his mind kinda like a book that he was writing. It was new and ready to go in the beginning of the year. And thanks to his work and energy - that book of his was now wide open and just filled with all the makings of a classic! "You have an enormous amount of potential," I told him finally.
He sat there, still. He looked at me intensely. Then he said the most genuine words I've ever heard him say.
"I don't know what to say."
He didn't even blink. DU uttered those words - probably the most profound statement I've heard from a third grader in more than 2 decades - and he didn't even blink.
It was such a thoughtful, intentional statement. I was blown away.
It felt so darn good to live in that moment!
I think those words should be used more often by all of us. When someone hurts your feelings - say, "I don't know what to say." When someone does something incredibly kind or loving for you - say, "I don't know what to say." When rude people throw a barb at you, respond calmly - "I don't know what to say." See? It works in so many situations!

And when someone says something good to you - something that makes you feel so much better than you did - you'll know what to say.
I don’t know what to say. ❤️❤️
Such truth here! I'll 'fess up--I teared up a bit with this one.